At what point in one's life does one come to realize the hazards of an occupation? One that seemingly seems harmless, like snapping some photos innocently, that can all of a sudden go completely haywire. Today I came to the conclusion that it is much better to be pissed off, then pissed on. I shot a "first" birthday party today, quite a milestone yes? Even if your a dog?? This morning I headed off to South Brunswick to my friend's chi's 1st birthday party. Tired from the night before (thanks to those who know who you are), wiping my eyes, and greedily sipping an iced tea on the way there, singing at the top of my lungs, froggy voice in tow. I arrive perked up and ready to roll. Film, camera, dog snacks and toys, shaking my head at the surreal afternoon I am about to have.. I am greeted at my friend's brother's house by the guest of honor chasing my feet and as I round the bend I am approached by a samoyed, named Spanky. Gorgeous bearlike dog, sweet, soft, friendly... a little too friendly.. As I am saying hello to Spanky, I start to feel a wet sensation on my calf, running down quickly saturating my sneaker. Before I put two and two together, I hear "OH SPANKY!! De, he peed on you!!!" "NO!! REALLY??? I thought maybe my leg spontaneously combusted." I regain my composure, Spanky wagging frantically and happy to see his handy work and that he has now claimed me. As he begins sniffing my other leg, I quickly squish with every step into the house, into the bathroom, the smell overwhelming, to try and rectify this mess. But what can you do? So I go back out, laugh it off, and begin while my friend's four year old niece keeps yelling giddily, "SEE!!? HE LIKES YOU!!! while she squirted my leg, drenching it even further, with some supposed miracle liquid that would take away the smell, (Which it didn't. Now I am also realizing that because they already had this"miracle" spray means I am not Spanky's first victim.) For the rest of the afternoon, I try not to step on smaller dogs, bending down with caution as needed so the urinated pant leg does not hit my skin anymore then it has too. Spanky, who now watches me carefully at a short distance, seems to gloat and show it as he pushes any other dog out of the way if he thinks they have spent too much time with me.. (Hmmm.. reminds me of a guy I used to know.) Anyway. Two hours later, pee dried into my pants, reeking smell with every wisp of humid summer air that floats by, still squishy in my sneaker, I leave waving frantically eagerly awaiting to get home and hose myself down.
So I can leave the clothing items outside my apartment, I strip in the hallway of my building quickly hoping that my neighbor won't open his door, fumbling with my keys standing there sans pants thinking.. "Only you De, only you." When I am in, I b-line for the shower, ignoring the odd look from my cat, and scrub myself raw. Aaaaahhhh clean. Currently I am soaking my sneakers and pants in the kitchen sink. Hoping the ammonia like smell disappears soon as well as the memory of look of satisfaction on Spanky's face, cute and fuzzy as he may be and unfortunately still very huggable despite his raw act. All in all, quite an adventure now that I look back on it. My friends brother claims that I should be flattered he took to me so well. Super. I don't know if flattered would be the word. Not sure what the word would really be. All I know, is that I did a good job, regained my composure, ignored the curling noses and weird looks on people's faces trying to divert the stench that came from me, and that somewhere out there tonight is a dog named Spanky who will forever live in my memory as I am sure I will live in his. He did claim me after-all, until the next unsuspecting victim comes along.
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